What Does the Bible Say About Fatherhood
Disciple U
Read Proverbs 4 A Father’s Advice
In your opinion, which statistic is the most powerful and difficult statistic?
a) 25% of children in the United States live without a father in the home.
b) 40% of children in fatherless homes are living below the poverty line.
c) 85% of all youth in prison come from fatherless homes.
d) 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
e) 63% of youth suicides occur in homes where the father is absent.
What are these statistics telling you about the importance of a father?
Why do you think fathers are absent in children’s lives?
How did your father help you avoid these numbers or create these numbers?
How has your father helped you or hurt you. Explain.
What do you struggle with the most? Why?
a) Discipline and correction b) Making good decisions
c) Acceptance and approval d) Controlling my tongue
e) Making a plan for my future f) Staying on task
Do you think a good father can help you with these problems? How?
How did your father help you with your problems?
Which command is your favorite command?
a) Listen when your father corrects you. (1)
b) Get wisdom and develop good judgment. (5)
c) Don’t turn your back on wisdom. Love her. Embrace her. (6, 8)
d) Take hold of my instructions. Guard them. (13)
e) Don’t do as the wicked do. Don’t follow the path of evildoers. (14)
f) Guard your heart above all else. (23)
g) Avoid all perverse talk, stay away from corrupt speech. (24)
h) Look straight ahead. Fix your eyes on what lies before you. (25)
i) Mark out a straight path. Stay on the safe path. (26)
j) Don’t get sidetracked. Keep your feet from evil. (27)
Rank your top three. Why did you pick these 3?
BeOne2MakeOne
*LearnHisWords FollowHisWays TrustHisWisdom
*Proverbs A Father’s Advice
What is your favorite truth in this passage?
a) Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do. (7)
b) Wisdom will not hold you back or cause you to stumble. (12)
c) Evil people can’t sleep until they’ve done their evil deed for the day. (16)
d) Evil people do not rest until they’ve caused someone to stumble. (16)
e) Evil people eat the food of wickedness and drink the wine of violence. (17)
f) The way of the righteous shines brighter until the full light of day. (18)
g) Your heart determines the course of your life. (23)
Is wisdom more about doing right or more about avoiding evil? Explain.
What is your favorite promise in this passage? Why?
a) Wisdom will protect you and guard you. (6)
b) If you prize wisdom, she will make you great and honor you. (8)
c) Wisdom will place a lovely wreath on your head and present you with a beautiful crown. (9)
d) Wisdom will bring life to those who find it and healing to your body. (22)
Who is the wisest person in your life right now?
What is the best advice they have given you?
Which quote is your favorite quote?
a) Fatherhood is not a biological accident. It is a divine calling. Charles Stanley
b) A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. Billy Graham
c) Fatherhood is not about being perfect, but about being present and involved in your children’s lives. Tony Dungy
d) The best thing a father can for his children is to love and lead them in the ways of the Lord. John MacArthur
e) A father’s role is to be a model of strength, love, and integrity guiding his children towards God’s truth and grace. **Tim Keller
**f) A father’s job is not just to provide for his family’s physical needs but also nourish their soul and guide them in the ways of God. Tony Evans
g) A father is neither an anchor to hold us back not a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love and wisdom shows us the way. Unknown
Can you call your dad and thank him for his influence in your life or can you forgive your father for not being in your life?
BeOne2MakeOne
LearnHisWords FollowHisWays TrustHisWisdom
READ: Proverbs 4
LEARN: What are the themes, truths, commands, and promises God wants you to learn?
EXAMINE: What is the Holy Spirit telling you?
APPLY: How does God want you to change?
PRAY: How can you pray these principles back to Jesus?
GOT QUESTIONS: What does the Bible say about fatherhood?
The greatest commandment in Scripture is this: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5). Going back to verse 2, we read, “So that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.” Following Deuteronomy 6:5, we read, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (vv. 6-7).
Israelite history reveals that the father was to be diligent in instructing his children in the ways and words of the Lord for their own spiritual development and well-being. The father who was obedient to the commands of Scripture did just that. This brings us to Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” To “train” indicates the first instruction that a father and mother give to a child, i.e., his early education. The training is designed to make clear to children the manner of life they are intended for. To commence a child’s early education in this way is of great importance.
Ephesians 6:4 is a summary of instructions to the father, stated in both a negative and positive way. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” The negative part of this verse indicates that a father is not to foster negativity in his children by severity, injustice, partiality, or unreasonable exercise of authority. Harsh, unreasonable conduct toward a child will only serve to nurture evil in the heart. The word provoke means “to irritate, exasperate, rub the wrong way, or incite.” This is done by a wrong spirit and wrong methods—severity, unreasonableness, sternness, harshness, cruel demands, needless restrictions, and selfish insistence upon dictatorial authority. Such provocation will produce adverse reactions, deadening children’s affection, reducing their desire for holiness, and making them feel that they cannot possibly please their parents. A wise parent seeks to make obedience desirable and attainable by love and gentleness.
The positive part of Ephesians 6:4 is expressed in a comprehensive direction—educate them, bring them up, develop their conduct in all of life by the instruction and admonition of the Lord. This is the whole process of educating and discipline. The word admonitioncarries the idea of reminding the child of faults (constructively) and duties (responsibilities).
The Christian father is really an instrument in God’s hand. The whole process of instruction and discipline must be that which God commands and which He administers, so that His authority should be brought into constant and immediate contact with the mind, heart, and conscience of children. The human father should never present himself as the ultimate authority to determine truth and duty. It is only by making God the teacher and ruler on whose authority everything is done that the goals of education can best be attained.
Martin Luther said, “Keep an apple beside the rod to give the child when he does well.” Discipline must be exercised with watchful care and constant training with much prayer. Chastening, discipline, and counsel by the Word of God, giving both reproof and encouragement, are at the core of “admonition.” The instruction proceeds from the Lord, is learned in the school of Christian experience, and is administered by the parents—primarily the father, but also, under his direction, the mother. Christian discipline is needed to enable children to grow up with reverence for God, respect for parental authority, knowledge of Christian standards, and habits of self-control.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). A father’s first responsibility is to acquaint his children with Scripture. The means and methods that fathers may use to teach God’s truth will vary. As the father is faithful in role modeling, what children learn about God will put them in good standing throughout their earthly lives, no matter what they do or where they go.
